29000Sunsets

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The sun sets on another day...

Hmm, this may be difficult. When you may think of open hearts you think of messy bloody yuck that you see on hospital TV. The poor heart may be battered and beaten and you never know when the writers are gonna yank the guy or gal right out of the show, urk. When you think of open hearts you may also want to run screaming, realizing that having an open heart means having a heart that is open to pain or to generally bad stuff. you may also think of the incredible benefit of having an open heart, and the possibilities that are wonderful and nearly endless.

Open hearts.

I have tried that many times. Many of those times have not been that great. Some of those times have been less than perfect, and some of the times have opened my mind and, well, my heart, to possibilities. In talking to lots of people one of the things I have found is that the heart is fickle and unique. Fickle in that it can shift in a moment, and unique that it always seemed to be different.

When I think about the heart it is not just for loves, but for the deeper loves some friends have. It is a rarity to find that friend that you share your heart with so fully that it is truly a new kind of love. I know that there are those friends that have a deeper love, the friends that are there no matter what and who will always be a friend no matter what. This seems to be rare, at least in my experience. I have found only a few people that truly put themselves out there and are there in thick and thin, and many who will profess it until they cut you. (Said with a certain jazzy voice "They will cut you") In this vein (Not a bloody one) I suggest we only have a few friends in our life we can truly count on, and only a few friends that really understand the words "no matter what". this makes true friendship rare, this makes true friendship special.

Then there are the loves in our lives. With an open heart if we approach our loves, we will find a way to be a friend and more than a friend. This is the most amazing feeling there can be, but having an open heart here can be a little difficult. Where a friend can hurt you, and sometimes it can be over and over, a love can shatter your life. It is there we start building walls to protect ourselves. We learn at an early age, that first crush, that losing can hurt, and it is a hurt that rips at the very soul. I remember when I was 6 years old meeting Marci, a 7 year old and how much it hurt when I moved away and never saw her again. As I moved from city to city I found and lost many "crushes" until I built fortified walls to keep from hurting.

Finding what you think is love and what you know is love can be trying and trying, but it also opens us up to heights that we cannot easily relay. When I was in College I met a girl named Lisa. We had great times together, and they were better and better and open day she said she could no longer see me. She had a rational reason but it ripped me apart. I came to terms with it though when I realized how great we were for a short time. In the end it was worth it since I found out how to be happy for a short time. I poured everything in with an open heart and got hurt, then did it again and again.

Sometimes I have walls, sometimes not, but always I try to over give, and keep my heart open.

How about you? Have you built walls with friends or loves that keep you from feeling? Do you let people get close, or do you push them away. When your friend is not with you do you speak differently about them? When your love is not with you, how do you represent them? When someone comes to you do you have an open heart, or a steel ridden heart that is too formidable to penetrate?

Tough questions, consider them, I know I am overdoing here. (Oh, and have open hearts with puppies and kitties and children too)

So as the sun sets on another day, you are sitting at the top of a hill deciding your future. there are many paths before you. Do you choose to protect your heart, or open it to potential heartache? Ask yourself, if I am a good friend, is my heart open or closed? If I am a good love, do I love with all my heart or protect some? That will give you some unique answers. In my opinion, open your heart, feel, and see more of a wonderful world, no matter what.

Sleep sweet, love life, and be amazing...