The sun sets on another day...
Rain fell, and it fell hard. Puddles formed then faded as the wind blew. A whisper washed among the trees as petals of water fell and faded into the sand once more. The skies are dark, waiting for something, but they know not what, just that it will come not because or in spite of anything but just because it is their way.
I wrote a story some time ago that I have kept mostly private. The story is called "A Conversation with Death". It is called that because of a vivid dream I had where I spoke to Death, about new and old, and about my past, the things I have done, and all the times I should have died. In my dream Death talked to me, mostly about life, and explained how my force of will had thwarted him many times. A thought that went through my mind is the only guarantee life can give you is death, and Death echoed that in his own way.
Seem depressing? It was not, nor did it depress me but instead inspired me to do more, maybe too much more. Here I sit pushing an envelope after another brush with death just a short time ago.
I had a friend once that said all the things I did that were on the edge were selfish. Those things defined ways I could be taken away from the world. It defined me as a selfish person because if I died I would take something away. I was not and still do not believe that is true. Instead I feel there is much about life to live, and our only regrets at the end are the things we did not do, not the things we have done. I have watched people come and go in and out of my life. I have done a lot, and maybe a little more. Often I have been asked, "What haven't you done" and each time I am asked I simply say, "A lot, and there is more to do", more to do each day that does not involve sitting in my house, being alone, or not living life.
When I began 29000 sunsets it was with the goal to open my children's eyes on how much there is to do in life. I was amazed at all the possibilities, and hoped they would see more. See those things that they want to do to define themselves and instead of being shy or afraid, embracing the moment and driving forward into the dark night until they light it bright as day. They have done so, and I am proud each day. Somewhere along the way I picked up readers. First a few then a few dozen, then hundred, and now about a thousand constant readers. It feels good to know someone can read a little statement and life it, but even better if they really live another moment. If they challenge time and pain and all the other fears that we have and instead see life through different eyes. Eyes that are open and alive. Eyes that sparkle, eyes that sing, eyes that can do most anything. I am amazed.
So what, right? Well, here we all sit, many of us in our homes with an uncertain future, or at least an undefined one. What is it that is most important? Is it the lack of restaurants to eat at, or the missing of a child's graduation. Is it the NCAA tournament, or a kiss you once missed and want to regain? Is it a new car or the drive you need to take to feel better? Is it the killer vacation or being there for someone special? Tough questions for trying times. I suggest it is time for an overhaul. Ready? Set?
Stop worrying about what is to come, it will come when it is there and every moment you worry you miss those things that are slapping you in the face right now. You miss it all and why? You don't need to, do you? Stop worrying about what has past, I know I could a lot. From a high school girl I never went out with to jobs, vacations, people, places, things, decisions that could have all changed my life as we know it, no regrets, we are who we are because of our good and bad decisions. It is time right now to define your right now. Be there for someone, be there for everyone, be there for yourself, but be there, in your life making it a good, no making it a great life. You deserve it. In my conversation with death I asked him when it would be time, his answer was when he got around to it, no if, no and, no but. It will happen. Before it does I intend to keep living and having fun each day that I can.
Now, a brief caveat, there are people who will bring you down, slow you down, drive you down. Deal with it. Decide to keep them in your life or move on, but look for those people that find the silver lining, and enjoy the day because there are zero do overs. Make the day super, make the day great, make the day special, and don't stop to wait. Do it.
So as the sun sets on another day, I feel like this was a rant. Perhaps it is, perhaps I was thinking about the present and wanting to share the present a little more. Perhaps not. What I know right now is this day is mine, and I have had fun writing. I hope you have as much fun reading. By the way, if you are bored, now is a good time to read my books. They are fun, and focus on the now. Taker your day today, make it great even if its not, make it work even if it wont work, mostly, make it yours, no matter what.
Sleep sweet, find your center, and watch out for dreams where you talk to death...