As the sun sets on another day I ponder my love for my daughters. For hours I talked to my daughters today. It is a unique experience talking to a daughter when you are a dad (or mom I suppose). Where the natural instinct with a son is to protect and accept, the natural instinct with a daughter is to protect and protect. I suppose I have always been a protector anyway, as I have a few stories that made me this way, but I cannot imagine a life where a daughter, or a woman for that matter, is not protected and on a pedestal. There are a lot of parents that love their sons to no end and make them into the men they should be, with patient respect and honor for everyone they come into contact with. My Grandfather taught me that no woman ever deserved to be mistreated, at all, period, end of story, done. He stated simply that the man should always be the protector and the joy in his wife's life, and as such, his wife should be the joy in his life. There was no compromise based on what I was taught, it was a two way street. (Wouldn't that be a perfect world?) I was told that a man who mistreated his wife in any way, did not deserve that wife. This has gotten me into a bit of trouble before as I have seen men mistreat their wives in public (Or women in general) and stepped in. (I pause here for any foolish man who states "I would kick his bottom etc etc etc") I did so without pause as sometimes injustice needs a champion.
The point is, a daughters love is precious, and no matter what, the endgame should be a daughters happiness. Ask most any real father of any daughter if it is OK for ANY woman to be mistreated, and he will spurn the idea. Ask most any father how a daughter should be treated and he will say with respect, and passion, and love. Recently I spoke to someone about a man who had this, he was older and loved his wife with all his heart, and his wife loved him back. The stories I was told were of a man who did not compromise on his love, and who accepted a daughter who was troubled, no matter what. His love for his wife, translated to an overwhelming love for his daughter, who he would accept and protect, to his final days.
for me, I hope I can show my daughters how love should be, and how men should treat women. I hope I can show my son the way to be patient and treat a woman correctly, always. I hope that men who verbally or physically abuse women wake one morning and realize the damage they have done to both women and to themselves. I hope men can teach their sons that their mother be held on a pedestal. Mostly I hope that women who are mistreated teach their son's that happiness is more important than pretense, and love more important that status, and sometimes life throws you a curve-ball, and you have to walk. After all, when the sun rises tomorrow, I hope it is full of truth, love, and the power to move life to a new level, and shed the negatives that hold us down.
And as the sun sets on today be thankful for your children and all that they are because of you. Bless them daily with your praise, guide them to the right choices, and show them you make right choices for yourself so they will make good choices for themselves. Show them love every day you can, and let them know it is always ok to love, and cry (even if they are boys) and laugh, and love some more. Show your children that sweets are good, and sweet people are better. Teach them to give to others, and understand when the world takes from them. There is no real tomorrow, except when the sun rises, after it sets again tonight, and makes us realize we have to love to be able to love.
The sun sets on another day and today we are faced with again missing the sun set that calls to us, and knowing that tomorrow will be another potential for a bright day. I need a few bright days! So I am taking them!
I have been talking to quite a few people recently about my potentially unrealistic expectations of life. We all expect something from life, even if we don't always get it, and it appears many people may well think that I am unrealistic in that vein, hence my overwhelming passion with sunsets, sunrises, and just about everything that I come into contact with to a point that some from my past have said I was not believable. Nay nay, or dit dit dit, I say. I am over the top because I see every day what life has to offer through everyone I come into contact with. (Well most everyone)
The big question we should be asking is do we deserve the fairy tale or do we deserve a fairy tale? Confused? Yes, I see that. In the movie "Pretty Woman" Julia Roberts makes reference to wanting the fairy tale. In other words she wants the perfect life every day in which we watch the sun rise, love like there is not tomorrow, then watch the sun set as we prepare for another day and to do it all over again. This works out pretty good for her as her costar, a battered and confused man who loves her and does not know it, does not know what he wants until he is faced with the prospect of losing her forever. (Not a fun thing to go through, even if you are a billionaire) So there is a perfect life with a fairy tale in the movies, but we are never sure how it goes from there (No Pretty Woman 2?) and it is hard to make that jump without some assurances.
On the flip side we have a host of really bad other places to be, but I like "Sleeping with the Enemy" where we once again have Julia Roberts who seems to have the perfect life, except behind closed doors her husband is somewhere past a complete lunatic. Lets face it, with a husband like him, you may as well fake your own death and run away, which turned out to be a pretty good idea. In that case and in the case of many people, they live a fairy tale because nothing is true but the lies. Poor Julia Roberts is just so sweet and nice and everyone thinks she is just so damn happy, but she is getting her bottom kicked at every turn until she finds a way out.
So which should we live? Do we find that perfect person to share life with and enjoy every moment so the world can see how happy we are? Or do we lie every moment of our life and pray it was worth it?
Call em an over optimist, but I feel strongly that the good lord in all his power shows us things for a reason, and the reason is not to live a lie, but to find happiness in our time on earth, teach happiness to those around us, and find a way to live a fulfilled life, no matter what. I guess there will be many others that will agree to disagree for nebulous reasons, or self inflicted punishment, or a lack of self esteem, yada yada yada, but who is right only time will tell. So make tomorrow a bright day, enjoy every moment, find someone who loves you with all their heart, and you love with all your heart, and watch the sun go down together, then maybe life will have a purpose.
The sun sets on another day....
Ever notice when it gets darkest that there is sometimes a light that shines on each of us? Some may consider it divine, some may consider it random, some may consider this whole line of thinking "dumb", but I would like to believe there can be light in any situation. Lots of people pray for a solution but maybe it is up to us to find the right solution. By right I mean the right solution for us to be happy, living a true life to ourselves and loving every day. Don't you all think you deserve a better day? Take a deep breath, dispel the fear, and let the light shine on you to take the steps for your life to be happy. Sometimes it is just a moment away.
So, I need a slick movie reference or biblical quote here, or just a plain inspiration so this will not seem like the rantings of a madman. This one is pretty easy, er, well it could be hard because of the number of good choices. I think for the moment I have to go with "The Notebook" as two people so in love have to find a way. The moral of this movie in my opinion, is that if there is unlimited passion between two people, love finds a way. Of course, there is a lot of pain, suffering, and poor decisions in between, but love finds a way, and you will never see a man love a woman more and a woman love a man more. (Well, you might and a few will, I know at least one is out there) The point is in this movie the main character proves himself to himself and the woman realizes what she has lost the moment she sees him again. It is only when things are at their darkest that she turns the tables and makes things right. (At least I consider it right).
Live life, love life, love yourself (but not too much) and never ever live a lie, nothing is ever worth it. (That is with a capital N) (You never know, that other guy or girl may have more to offer than you think)
Oh, and for a fun read (In my opinion) try "A Dark Night", just for a fun October read.