The sun sets on another day…
Sunset passed in the blink of an eye today. The wind whipped around us and the clouds muffled the air like some woolen blanket in the sky.
Forgiveness is tough. As I sat here today I talked to one of my kids about forgiveness, and how it is often hard, but sometimes necessary. There are some things that blare out at you when you think of it, and some that you have to consider more carefully.
Some people have an easy time forgiving. They decide how to approach people and will give their forgiveness freely as they decide it is not important to hold onto any malice. Some people get lost in their pain, and forgiveness is not an easy journey, and sometimes one that is not taken at all.
It is for you to decide how you approach life, but holding on to the pain, or to some memory may not be the most effective path. Holding on may be safer, but it often causes more harm than good.
3 examples from my life:
My father and I had major issues for a long time. I will not bore you with the details but the rift between us was often large, and I fanned that rift by never letting go. He would apologize over and over, but there came a time that he said, “You have a choice, you can either forgive me or not, but I am done apologizing. I made a mistake, I will not pay for it forever.” I had a hard time that day, but decided that it was time to let go of my issue as it was really my issue now, no longer his. Sometimes you are not holding a grudge, you are the problem.
I have tried to help many people before. At one time I tried to help with money. Today I do not loan or give money unless it is a really serious issue as each time I have helped someone they either fell off the radar, lied until the end, or blamed me for wanting them to honor their word. In the end this was not my problem, and I learned a lesson that was hard. If I was paid back for everyone I would smile, but it is to a point that they have to live with their honor or dishonor now. Sometimes it is not a grudge you hold, but a lesson you learned.
I knew many people at work that were very positive and good people. I found an employee that was rough, but skilled and trained them forward. I found later they were taking my work and saying it was theirs. It was not a big effect, but it made me consider if I should continue interacting with them. They apologized but it was not in earnest. In the end I walked away, and they ended up failing. Sometimes it has nothing to do with forgiveness, but instead paying attention.
We all have hundreds of these stories, they make up who we are each day. My point, besides the one on my head, is forgiveness is something we should do, but perhaps we have to decide who we are forging. Sometimes it is not what we see at all, and we need to be aware of that, and react properly. Is it time to forgive.
So as the sun sets on another day, I am an old man now, I forgive most except a very few who could not understand what they did. I move on though, and mostly I try to forgive myself for the sometimes incredible paths I have taken in life. It is truly and amazing journey and I hope you are enjoying your moments, no matter what.
Sleep sweet, love to the moon and stars beyond, and find your heart…