The sun sets on another day…
Sunset was beautiful and I wondered how it would change as storms were expected later. Would it be good? Would it be bad? Would it miss us completely? Still, the sunset was spectacular. I enjoyed the colors and smiled a little.
It was very recently that I listened to my grandson start to ask that immortal question, why. This is a question that comes up often when you go through the first several years of a toddler. They have insatiable curiosity and are constantly looking for the answers that no one seems to really think about anymore.
It seems like only yesterday that “why” was the focus of my life. Of course the counter question was there too, “why not”.
For me I constantly got lost or obsessed in the why. Why is there not more? Why can’t people understand my point of view? Why are people sad? Why do we die? Why don’t we live? All these questions and so many more assail and assailed me. I find myself still asking these and think we should all look inside and ask a different version, “why am I?”
At first that will seem like an easy question. But then you have to realize that the question isn’t about you but about everything around you. It opens up a series of alternate questions. Why do I feel the way I do? Why do I get angry? Why do I get sad? Why do I get happy? Why am I not happy all the time? Why don’t I see the world through wider eyes? Why do people get sad? Why do people grow up?
It is that last one that haunts me often as I try not to grow up. I find myself consistently attempting to be a child in a man’s body. Trying to see the world with new eyes and with a wisdom that only a child can have. Perhaps seeing the world through childlike eyes is the most spectacular gift in the world. A child never considers that they know the only answer, they constantly seek more. Perhaps that question that they ask so often in “why” gives them the ability to open their eyes far more easily than the wizened sage that sits on top of a mountain with only their view and the inability to consider anyone else’s.
So I consider again, why am I not all of the things that I want to be? It is there that I find my answer, I am all of the things I want to be because I am. My decisions have made me, me, and only I can change these decisions and make myself more than me. Perhaps I just need to ask “why” and then seek out the answer until I can seek no more. IT is a good thought at least.
So as the sun sets on another day, I’ve got lots of good questions and maybe a couple of answers. I hope you have answers too, and I hope you can share them with me. Press the envelope and make the world a constant adventure seeking that question that children love to ask. Find childlike innocence inside yourself and let go of the angers and frustrations you may have. In that moment find at least a little slice of happiness, no matter what.
Sleep sweet, love life, and keep asking…