The sun sets on another day…
I watched the sunset while driving and colors sparkled at high speed, they bathed me in their light and I enjoyed it all.
I had a spirited discussion today with someone about empathy. They had lots of experience and I valued their point of view. As we discussed other subjects I noticed a certain lack of empathy and I had to think about what was at the core of empathy and how people translated those ancient Greek words into modern day ideas.
If you look up empathy in the dictionary or on the dozens of sites that try to define it, often they bounce Around the ideas and in doing so fail to really impress the incredible nature of being empathetic. Imagine being able to pay attention to the subtle cues that a person has and in doing so try to understand who they are, how they’re feeling, and encompass their point of view. It is a unique skill and many of the self-proclaimed empaths that I have come in contact with can barely understand their own emotions While others are so in touch with other people and how other people are reacting that they barely know how to act themselves. Of course there are a lot of well-functioning empaths and I have been fascinated by this subject since I was very young.
In the original series Star Trek there was an episode called The Empath. In that episode the main character had a nervous system so strong that it could reach out and intertwine with another person’s nervous system. They did not need to talk so much as they felt how other people’s experience shaped the world and in doing so perhaps understood more than some of us ever will. I was impressed and fascinated by the idea of the empath and began studying about empathy and reading books from a variety of sources. It wasn’t until years later that people began talking about empathy and noting their uniqueness because of their empathy.
If you are an empath, I agree that you are unique. You are in tune with others and can pay attention to their points of view in spite of your own. If you’re not an empath think of empathy as a way to communicate far more effectively and for all those of you that are out there that are halfway, it’s tough sometimes isn’t it?
If two people are discussing a situation and there is a disagreement, the empath will express their opinions as they have learned through interactions with other people. This can be frustrating as an empath will ask questions and present multiple points of view as they try to read the other person. The constant goal is to learn how the other sees the world, the non-empath will walk away assured that their position is valid and unable to relate to any other position besides their own. The empath will switch topics or engage in other areas in order to understand how that person relates to the world.
If two impacts are interacting I almost imagine it like an old story of two Samurai. In the story two Samurai Masters meet and they want to determine who is the more skilled. They stand some distance apart and stare at each other each one looking directly into the eyes of the other until finally one of the two says, “thank you for your conflict, you have won.”
If only it was always that simple. If only people could be divided yet together. If only people could grasp the commonalities between each other instead of focusing on the negatives. If only people were willing to accept each other because they believed that differences made them stronger.
As for me, I enjoyed the discussions today. Who knows how the other felt, they may have enjoyed the discussions or they may have walked away feeling the pangs of conflict. I would always rather have a discussion with someone who disagreed with me than those you blindly agreed. You cannot learn anything from someone who only agrees with you, or at least very little. Spirited discussion and debate allow us all to see the world in a far more effective way. One that is inclusive of everyone instead of those who agree. I would like to have that world.
So as the sun sets on another day, I find myself happy about the day and all of the wonderful people I met. I had many good discussions and enjoyed all of the people that I interacted with. I hope you had an amazing day as well and that every day leads you to learning more and accepting far more. Be that person that looks for the light, no matter what.
Sleep sweet, love life, and live strong…