The sun sets on another day…
Sunset was subtle, as the clouds forced their way in and hopefully will bring much needed rain. I was quite amazed at the sky though as I saw the flutters of color bounce around. Today was a good day in spite of the clouds because my roses began to bloom!
I was part of a discussion today when the question came up about identities. It was further defined as how you identify yourself and then progressed to discussing how we identified others. Each person relayed a different piece of a giant elephant. It isn’t that this is a complicated thing to define. It is more along the lines of this definition that is constantly in motion. I watched the individuals on the screen during the Zoom call, and many of them made grand gestures, and also we were touched and moved by everyone’s comments. There were no wrong answers or correct answers, but it was a safe place to discuss both and build a group of people that actually cared what others thought.
What is an identity? One exemplary person posted in chat that “The term identity comes from the Latin noun identitas, which means the same. The term, referring to a person’s mental image of him or herself thus implies some sameness with others in a particular way.” I went looking, and the funny thing is, there are a lot of definitions. A whole lot. Why does that matter?
I have written about this subject so many times that it would be hard to find a list of all the places. Some of them would be self-evident, but others would be subtle as I only hope that people find their identity and that we define ourselves each day as the best person we can be. I made a similar statement: as we define ourselves each day, it is not just a definition but a redefinition of who we are. As we add experience, we become more aware of who we could be, and at the same time, we see the world differently because we see just a little bit more of it. Still, in the scope of our world, we are less than a speck of sand. Even a speck of sand lasts far longer than we do and sees far more than we will see. That is not meant to be depressing but instead to state that our lives and our very existence is tiny in the scope of time and the realm of the world.
Now that isn’t to say your identity isn’t important, it should be the most important thing to you, but few people actuall6y define it. So ask yourself an important question, who are you? What makes you the exciting person you are? What defines your moral compass, your life? What are the things that make you the same? Make you different? All of this plays into who you are.
I thought about this a lot and decided many things. My identity has changed many times over time. At the core I believe in doing the right thing. That thing has changed based on situation often, and sometimes what some would see as negative values became positives and vice versa. I found I weighed good and bad as social constructs more than many understood. My identity was built on foundations started by my grandparents but it was shaped by everything from Star Trek to horror movies into something very different. I also found myself in a constant search for the definition of love and attraction and that search has made many leaps and falls over time. This gave my identity a lot of definition based on how to love, who I loved, and how I saw the image of love at the time. I found my identity was hurt by friendship. I moved so much when I was young that I had virtually no childhood friends, and though I cherish friendship part of me sees a more symbiotic relationship as necessary that many don’t see. I had unspeakable trauma when I was young, I experienced death first hand when I was 7, then saw how cruel the world could be many times. One such time changed the way I though and transformed me into what could only be considered a monster. This could go on forever, and I will not belabor anything more than saying, my life built a complex identity that I consider daily as I ask, “Who am I?”
Now ask this of yourself. Who are you? Why are you that way? What defines the inner you? Do you show you to others? Do you believe in you? How are you? Really? Now I want you to think about five words that define you. Once you do, cut that to 3, then 1. Is this you?
There is a lot to consider, but the real question is, “Do you grow?” Consider that closely and remember, your identity may always be in flux. After all, I say it often, if you believe you know everything about anything you are likely wrong. I know I don’t and have to learn each day.
So as the sun sets on another day, this is a monumental subject. One that could be discussed for hours and days. In the process we could go over many constructs of identity, but only we know what our real identity is. Search your mind, determine who you are, and be true to you always. After all, you should be able to trust yourself, no matter what.
Sleep sweet, love life, and who are you…
For a good read or two see: Faces and Masks, Amazingly You, People Dynamics, and A Matter of Bias. There are many more but this is a good start.