A tomato in your hand…


The suns sets on another day…

Try as you might you can never change the path of the sun, nor get the sun to change its time, or hold it from setting, keep the light on, or in any other way ensure the sun changes for you. All you can hope is that each day it will rise and set for you, and it does so without question or pause.

Funny, huh?

Accepting things you cannot change is tough in the world. In fact, it has gotten me into a lot of trouble, as it does many.

I remember the movie “Instinct” with Anthony Hopkins and Cuba Gooding Jr. At one point in the movie Anthony Hopkins pins Cuba to a table and is ready to kill him, he asks a simple question, “What have I taken away from you.” The answers that follow are: One is control, One is Freedom, and finally the truth, illusions.

In life we are faced with many truths, and some of them are painful. The most painful may well be the truth we are not in control. We cannot make the sun rise or set in any way not make it more beautiful, or less beautiful base don what we want. By that same token we cannot make a friend, it is a collaboration, nor can we make someone love us, nor love someone on command. I have told my children many times that relationships and interactions are usually like holding a tomato in your hand. You have to hold it just right based on the tomato. If you are too tight, you may squeeze it out between your fingers, too loose it may fall away because it can be slippery, Just right, you can hold on, but you have to adjust all the time. In my opinion the only control you have is your vision of your illusion of control.

Assessing control on a person is near impossible, and in some cases dangerous. Imagine saying a person is so wrong and then trying to shut them down, you end up running for office then (Funny joke eh) The only control you have is the control over yourself. You can choose to be a great person and live life with an always full cup (Because if you drink the water the cup is still full of air) or you cannot. Don’t be in the trap of thinking you have any control over others, because then you may be surprised in potentially difficult ways at how many illusions are in our world.

So as the sun sets on another day, make yourself the best person you can be and good people will come to you (Maybe some bad ones too). Just do what you think is right, make good decisions, and live a good life, no matter what. 

Sleep sweet, love life and smile for a while…

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