Reserve sorry…

The sun sets on another day…

The rain is nearly gone, and the world will be a better place because of it.

I have been writing about a post that a friend put up. It was messages to a daughter and I have been taking them to their conclusion. Tonight’s message is :”Reserve “I’m sorry” for when you truly are.”

Sorry is a difficult proposition for me. I will say I am sorry when I am, but there is a little bit of apprehension about it every time. An old (really old) girlfriend once told me “If you were sorry you would not have done it.” It didn’t matter what “it” was, the point was that in her eyes everyone should be perfect, and in my life I have found very few to be even close to perfect. I have also found a lot of people overuse and under use sorry, I could have said sorry for this sunset, but I didn’t, and either is right or wrong depending on who you are in life.

So what is the anatomy of “sorry”? Is sorry a state of mind or a true compilation of a series of regrets? Is sorry built on positives that drive us forward? Is sorry built on unrealized expectations? there are a lot of questions here, and maybe the answer is “yes”. Sorry as a whole implies an expectation missed, small or large expectations are what drive us forward in life. We expect certain things, and as we review those things we realize that there may have been more to it all along. So why say sorry? Well, you say sorry if you think you missed expectations.  The question you need to ask, is did you? Were expectations clearly set? Did you know they were set? If so, you are sorry. If not, don’t be. If someone is in earnest you will know, and maybe sorry. If not, don’t be. There are so many in betweens, but you should only say you are sorry if you mean it, and have a reason to say it. Otherwise, well, maybe you should skip the word altogether.

Huh, interesting thought.

So, as the sun sets on another day, well, I am not sorry for those things I did not do, and I am sorry for those things I did do and should not have, and I am not for everything in between. After all, sorry is a small slice of it all, and I want to be certain I know what I did, and make amends if I can. It takes time, but maybe we should listen and skip the sorry altogether, maybe we need to grow and be better people every day, but more likely, none of this is really about me, and it never was, so think about what sorry means to you and find your way to a good place, no matter what.

Sleep sweet, love life, and live it daily…

 

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