Musing…

The sun sets on another day…

Tonight as the sun set it was dim, dark, cloudy, misty, grim, foreboding, gray and a little bit country and a lot of rock and roll. Still, sunset was there somewhere and I watched the sky for a short time smiling at the end of another fantastic day.

I saw a movie tonight, “The Matrix Resurrections”. I was excited to see the movie and it was a good idea. We went and watched the movie and I was again reminded of the central theme, and the theme of many really good movies. As I left the theater (No, I am not going to spoil it, it is a worth watching movie) I was lost in thought with many questions, at the top of my list was still the essence of love.

If you don’t know me, the center of my “Masterson Files” series revolve around the idea of love, the limits of love, and finding passion with another person. I draw from a lot of places for content but feel like I know love pretty well, know lust pretty well, know the difference, and know the cores of attraction and of course repulsion. In the movie tonight my question revolved around something I have written about here many times, how would you measure love, and what limits do you put on it.

For the most part I have found that love as a whole is not usually congruent. In one corner you have a person who would give anything or a lot of things and feels deeply about their love interest and in the other corner you tend to have someone who takes all the can and puts limits on anything they do. In talking to many people an din my experience there are lots of people in between, but the core of the relationship[ tends to lean on the giver until they are about to go completely insane or leave and then there is a few crumbs or a big crumb given that has them hold on for longer.

I have found and talked to people who have experienced ok conditions to near horrible conditions as they went through a relationship as they would rather give and give but expect little and are given exactly that. I like to think of it as a cheeseburger syndrome. You know your (insert descriptor here) loves a single plain with just ketchup and definitely no pickle or tomato and diligently bring that back to them but when they bring you your burger it is with everything and you can’t stand onions on a burger. (An example, it can be applied to anything) When asked about it they may say to pick it off they were being safe, but if you brought back something wrong, even if the receipt was right you would be grilled along side of the burger. (Yes, silly example but it is fun).

In the movie I saw we have an example of someone who not only knows every inch of their love, but also is willing to give anything to save them. Anything at all including their very life. The thing that gets me, is in this case they both are willing to give their all to be more, do more, feel more, and be together. There is no artificial bias or limit, instead here are two people who would literally shred a world to be together, and in the process a simple touch meant more to them than many understand. Not because it was just a touch, but because they meant it. They felt it, there was something more.

I got a review in 2017 from a reader of “Vengeful Son” that stated they loved my book but they felt the love part was not realistic, and as I read I noted their problem was focused on how intense Michael and Abby were in the book. Always wanting to be close and feeling a tingle when you touch someone should not be rare, but it is. So much so that this person told me no one felt that good about another person for long, if ever and having two people so involved with each other was no realistic. I am here to tell you, that thought is wrong, but it is rare. Too rare.

Why can’t we love with all our hearts if we commit. Why can’t we say “This is what you want, it is not what I normally do but for you I will do it” instead of drawing lines on personal bias and less than positive growth opportunities. I read a lot (one of my goals this year is to record it as I go using Goodreads and Instagram) and I am most impressed with the idea of growing together and removing limits together. Those books are far too rare. Is it the idea that is rare? Are we just not capable of being at 150% for someone at all times? Do we get complacent and always look for more or do we get overlooked and find that our hearts are rended by those that are not interested in growth but instead a status quo or worse a controlling relationship.

Good questions, maybe, but there is still the idea that this movie was about love at its core, as are my books. An idea that should be considered by anyone who wants to grow.

I have a test for you. Think about your relationship. Think about it a lot. How much time do you spend each week lifting your (Insert favorite relationship descriptor here) up. How much time do you spend with them? What do they mean to you? Do you make them as happy as they can be? Are you as happy as you can be with them? Why? Are you the love of their life? Are they the love of your life? Are they hard to please? Are they a chore? Are you a chore? Are you hard to please? Are they difficult? Are you difficult? When you are together do you define the limits of passion? When other see you are they in awe? OR do people who see you say awwww? There are 168 hours in a week. How many of those are filled with passion, and how many are not? Think about it. At least it is worth considering.

So as the sun sets on another day, I hope your days and your person are filled with excitement, passion and more. I hope you are so excited to wake up with someone daily that you can’t keep your hands off them. I hope when you sleep you reach out so you can feel the warmth of someone next to you. I hope you find happiness in every day. We all need that, and we need it always. After all, if at the end of it all we are measured on the depths of our love, I kinda like the idea of getting high marks. Love to the moon and back, no matter what.

Sleep sweet, love life, and the matrix is different, but a good fun addition…