The sun sets on another day…
Sunset was crisp, cool and exciting, pretty much like life is. Unfortunately it was cold, windy, and a little snowy as well.
I recently engaged concerning happiness with someone who has a pretty good gauge on life, and in the process was a little dismayed at the approach given. Not because it was necessarily wrong, but because if it was right the world is a pretty horrible place. I don’t think it is.
Yesterday I talked about happiness in general and how happiness is dependent on you. Not anyone else but you. I laugh sometimes at an old campy movie called streetfighter where one of the characters was being beaten horribly and he simply ignored it because he found his happiness inside.
There are numerous references to happiness being dependent on others, or independent on others. So which is it? I considered this for a while and finally settled on the words of someone wise to me once upon a time. “You cannot make me happy or sad, that is my choice. You can only make me happier, or sadder by your words or actions.”
At the time this struck me as funny. I can never make anyone happy? Then I reached into my overly weird memory and knew it was true. I had always believed that by being the best (Insert favorite here, friend, love, etc etc) I could make people happy. I also thought that if I gave good advice, amazing council, or wonderful support that happiness was just around the corner. I was quite naïve, and somewhere along the way I realized I had no control over anyone’s happiness, and it gave me the understanding that they had little control over mine.
That’s not to say I can’t be affected. There are many times I was happy or sad and someone took that to a new level by introducing additional happy or sad situations. At the same time I know I have affected people in a positive or negative manner by my positive or negative manner. After all, I usually have strong emotive responses attached to me, good or bad.
What is the answer then? Do we spend eternity alone as we really don’t need anyone? I think we need to find the people who enrich our lives. Those people who we believe in AND who believe in us. I have found that even the most stable people can be worn to nothing by a bad person or at least hurt by the constant negativity. So lose the negative people. I have also found that people who surround themselves with those that are positive, will become more positive and have a healthier life. If you think about it it just makes sense.
No, I have done some real bonehead things, like thinking I could help people be happy by showing them I could be happy. Buzzz. That one will not work. In the end, people have to find their own way, not yours. It is a bitter pill to swallow, so get it done, and find the way to make it right.
So as the sun sets on another day, day one sees day two and raises it is still up to you. It is up to you to be happy, up to you to find your way, and up to you to make good choices. Keep good people around you, and let go of a few if you need to, those who love you, really want you to be happy will not just have words, they will be there for you, no matter what.
Sleep sweet, love life, and keep on loving…