Happiness – One

The sun sets on another day…

Sunset was amazing. The end clouds sparkled in the distance and the sky danced with millions of lights.

After yesterday I was reminded of how happiness is defined by people. The complexities amaze and astound me as there is no one definition for anyone. If we go by Webster it can be : a state of well-being and contentment. Then a bunch of items about joy, which is defined differently and so forth and so on. So what is the answer?

Opinions vary. (No I will not put on a Patrick Swayze costume for that)

I would say that happy is a state of mind where you are not feeling in a negative way, a neutral way, and have some positive things to see and look forward to. A good song says happy is if you feel like a room without a roof. Psychology today defines it in a lot of ways including genetics, but in the end, who is responsible for your happiness?

I am a firm believer that only I can define my happiness. It is there we should focus to determine happiness. After all, who is defining you, but you? You cannot garner happiness from anyone else until your center is defined. You decide if you are letting the world control you, or if you control your world. You cannot make your day better or worse looking for anyone to make it so, you choose. Outside influence only has the power you give suggestions, nothing more or nothing less. So if you were to (for example) call me a giant ugly fat man, I could take that and internalize and question myself and be unhappy, but in reality my self perception denies that or accepts it, so the words are meaningless. If you wake up every day in pain as I do, you could look at the world as a horrible place and feel unhappy, or you could accept that this day is a good day because today is the day I woke up.

Everything is a choice, but you have to believe in that choice and live that choice with no measure given, no pause, and knowing that you define you, and even more, you define how you will interact with the world. Years ago I was involved with an organization that helped people. I tried to explain the same as many of the people were so lost in the perception of others that they had no self, no self image, and in the end it was their end, literally. How can you find happiness if you cannot define what happiness is to you?

I was involved with a woman who took the world upon herself. She was full of life and passion and more, but she hated herself, and her self image. It was an image born out of things she had done in her past, but they were not things she did voluntarily, but instead situations she was forced into by others. In the end her statement to me was she did not deserve someone who treated her nice. She defined this and walked away, I can only hope she found the happiness I think she deserved. I will likely never know.

Yet another person I knew tried to commit suicide several times. I tried to help by getting them help. Still the world closed in on them but they were looking to others to define what was wrong. I fear the doctors made it worse as they bought into root causes and trying to blame others. IS that the solution? To not take accountability for ones self and move on and instead dwell on whose fault whatever is? If that is so, where do we draw a line and saw we are the definition of our lives? At that point where do we draw the lines and decide it is our life?

I can only suggest we find and draw a line, and in the process find a path to understanding ourselves. It is in that understand of why we react the way we react the way we do that we can search out and determine what really makes us happy. I feel you may find the thing that makes you happiest, is you.

So as the sun sets on another day, I will stop here for the day and look to tomorrow. I am happy now because I decided to be, and you know what, I think I will be happy tomorrow as well. Find your choice and make it, and make it a good choice for you, no matter what.

Sleep sweet, love life, and try some happiness…