The sun sets on another day…
Cold, wet, dark, yet somehow inspiring. That is how 2023 has started, and not with a whimper, but with the idea that there is more out there to discover, more to learn, and more to create.
Sometimes I find rabbit holes and slide down them for what seems like an eternity. Oops, it was 30 seconds. I find the best things to expand on when I do so. I see quips, quotes, and items that make me smile, and when I do, I keep going past the quote and the depth of feeling inside of it. The inspiration takes me places I could have gotten to but not as easily, and whether it was 1% inspiration or 99% inspiration, it still opened my mind to possibilities.
Recently I started playing with TikTok. There are probably Chinese government agents trying to subvert my poor phone, but no worries. My puppy, grandson, and silliness will be on the China news, boring people to tears. (Or making them giggle, either is fine with me. There are numerous exciting people online. When I find someone with something besides the litany or foolish attempts at self-generating endorphins through influencing themselves, I dig deeper and watch all they have. It is usually enlightening.
Recently I came across someone using sound bites and saying a little more than what the sound bites inferred. If you read the words and paid attention, it was a lot more. One of the concepts was simple and it was simply if someone allows you to be hurt, and has the power to resolve that hurt, what are their true feelings? This gets complex really fast.
I talk about personal bias a lot. Bias makes us all do things we think are correct but have no genuine concept. We tend to apply our thoughts and emotions to others and not consider that those thoughts and feelings may be less valid or not valid at all. This can be applied to various situations, but the reality is that people need to start opening themselves to understanding and not just assuming they are correct.
There is a book called “The Five Love Languages” that outlines a lot of good thoughts and is a start towards understanding how people love. I want everyone to remember sometimes there is more to it than we see or hear. Sometimes we listen but do not hear the needs of others, and sometimes we ignore the needs of others for the safety of our own bias. At that point it is time to question where you are, and how you want to be.
I do not have all the answers. I am curious to know if anyone does. As this new year starts, I can say that we should pay a lot more attention to our friends and loves. We should lift them by paying attention to what they need, or we should consider our motives and determine how we will address the world daily. It is a complex series of situations.
This rabbit hole got larger and larger, and my question became why? Why do people not listen and hear? Why do people apply their logic to someone else’s day to day life. How can you equate your needs to someone else’s unless you learn who they are? On a simple level, if you and I are at the same buffet, will I eat the same as you? I may not like the same food, should you decide what I eat? I am tall and massive, if you are smaller, should we eat the same amounts? The questions abound.
Anyway, this can be applied to almost anything. I know we need to communicate more and pay attention to what is accurate, rather than what we want to be real. It would be best if you did not compromise; after all, in compromise, both sides lose. You should not concede. After all, if someone concedes, someone else loses. It would be best if you cooperated, because cooperation finds a way for both to win.
So as the sun sets on another day, listen. Hear. Make a difference, and when you find someone you care about, put 150% into learning what they need and not applying what you think they need anywhere in the equation. If you can’t, well, it might be a disappointment, for both of you. You can give without compromise and concession and instead cooperate and find a way, if you want to. Then take your time and enjoy every moment you can, no matter what.
Sleep sweet, love life, and thank you…