The sun sets on another day…
Sunset was more than spectacular as Pepper and I found a spot, and watched the birds and the sun sliding from the sky. I took an extra few minutes, and laughed as Pepper sat and watched the birds. I found a moment of peace.
Where do I start.
I was writing tonight, trying to finish a series of thoughts on a series of thoughts. In the process I picked up a book next to me, “The Collected Works of Kahlil Gibran” and opened it randomly to a page. This quote called to me, “Death is not neared to the aged than to the new-born. Neither is life.”
I sat for a moment and my mind drifted. It was a moment of solace and seriousness.
In February of 2021 I published a book called “A Slice of Fear”. In that book there was a story about death. The story was from a dream I had and the dream was so vivid that if it was not real it should have been. In the story and the dream the personification of death wore a yellow shirt and slacks and was generally mild mannered. He told me about my life and explained a lot about the different trials and tribulations I had been through. All of the things in the dream were real and all of the moments described were just as real.
There are particular situations that I have gone through that have been relatively devastating. One of those situations involved the woman who took my heart and later set it free. She made a choice in her life that removed me completely. It wasn’t because she didn’t have feelings for me but instead because she was looking for peace and she described that peace in great detail. Part of the peace was finding a center so that her children would find their peace. I respected this even though it hurt. It actually hurt a lot.
I have had two additional dreams and visited with the man with the yellow shirt. the dreams were not difficult and were nowhere near as adversarial as the first dream. Still, they aligned the series of thoughts and I of course thought that somewhere in the back of my mind I was working out issues that I had never put to rest. The largest of these issues was the man in the yellow shirt taunting me with the idea that anyone that would give to me the way I gave to them would be removed from my life. To put it simply the man in the yellow shirt was giving me some sort of penance and stating that I should not consider having some people in my life that listened and heard and put in the pure passion that I did. It was further stated in my dream that the reason I did so well with my puppies is they gave back everything I put in, but their lives were finite. I agree with this premise and only a few people have ever considered the depth of how I feel. Instead most are lost in the bias of how they think I feel, or project their insecurities on me.
I’m getting to the point, thanks if you’ve stayed with me.
On December 24th of 2022 the person who I was close to died after a battle with cancer. I had no visibility into their life beyond a few messages from time to time and no idea this had happened. I found this after doing a quick check when I saw the quote tonight looking for an obituary in a town from the past.
I sit here thinking about the depth of passion and someone who was as passionate as I and to put every ounce of their passion into me as I did to them in the short time, we were together. I sit here thinking about how few people truly understand how deep passion can go. I sit in wonder of the people who hold on to anger and miss out on the depths of what can be felt. My mind is a series of emotional whirlwinds wondering how many people are next to the people right now thinking not about sleep or really anything else except that person next to them. My thoughts have drifted to peace, and I hope that this person has found the peace they were always seeking. There is very little else to say except the man in the yellow shirt does not bring pain or suffering but instead ferries souls to where they belong. I know that in this moment this person will find their peace.
So as the sun sets on another day, take stock of who you are with and those people that see past the obvious. Find those people that transcend the mundane and lift you to a new place. Seek out friends and loves that not only love you but lift you to a spectacular new height. Set aside those people that use you then ignore you or give only what they want when what they want is little. Reach out for the spectacular because you deserve even more and as you do realize that you are special and that you deserve more than anyone can give you unless they listen to and see who you are. I say it to you again, you are special. Keep holding on to your feelings and never let go of your passion, no matter what.
Sleep sweet, love life, and sleep in peace…