The Faces of Fear…

The sun sets on another day…

As I drove home from meeting with a friend after a show, after a long day filled with strange news, after a strange encounter at a Panera, after watching trees fallen everywhere, after meeting lots of interesting people, I stopped at a roadside park and took this picture of a wonderful sunset. A day that started in the 50s, dropped to freezing and snowed while whipping wind, was now clear and crisp and gave promise to a challenging and exciting evening.

Today was a show in Grand Haven Michigan. The show was well setup, but not as well attended as it had been previously. This was probably due to the weather, but who knows. Welcome to a weird new world built by fear and Covid.

During the show I spoke to many people and was, as always, happy with the feelings and interactions between people. I could sit and listen for hours to people interacting or, as usual, interact and try to understand more about people. It is a never ending journey as the more I know about people the more I realize I know a drop of water in the ocean of infinite possibilities of how people think.

Today I listened to a particularly fascinating person talk about change and fear, and life and was once again fascinated with how change and fear are such close bedfellows. This will be a longer post, so I hope you read on. I wrote about similar here and here and here but found over 100 posts involving fear and change so I will restate a lot.

Fear, by definition, is “an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat”. Fear is at the core of what we do and as I have stated many times I feel fear is not a good emotion usually. I write things that incite fear by looking at the primal ideas in our being, and determining how those ideas can be stimulated into emotions or delivering a message of some sort. Fear can protect us, and we have several innate fears that have no direct explanation, like a fear of snake or spider, or heights that we have no real reason to fear, but it is built in to who we are. These fears probably allowed us to survive and often can be overcome, but are part of our core.

Change is different but intertwined. I wrote here about change and entwines some interesting items. I have written dozens of things about change including several I reread this evening that were quite pointed. You can search if you are interested but it was a fun ride. Change is every day. We all have to embrace it as we have changed and you have changed just by reading this line of words. Still, a great many people try to keep from changing much and avoid the essence of change in life, and the essence of life in change. Their existence is comfortable but sometimes does not bring the happiness it can.

All that for a few more lines. Sorry for the buildup.

So where do fear and change intersect? Metathesiophobia is the fear of the unknown and it guide a lot of people away from change. After all, change can be subtle, or it can be violent, but rarely can it be predicted with any level of certainty. According to Dr. Samantha Rodman (No, I do not know here but she has some interesting short reads, a few relationship books, and a fun blog) fear of change is a primary driver in the world. I agree. I have found in my experience that few people or businesses want to invest in change because it involved the unknown or some piece of the unknown they are not willing to risk. I know some people, me included, that embrace change every day. I know far more that avoid it like the plague and would never consider change unless it was forced.

I have two spectacular friends that I do not talk to much since Covid. They took a jump to the unknown by starting a business and giving up everything to do so. In the end they have become reasonably successful and set aside excuses and reservations to create something new. I have another friend who invested in a bookstore and he works hard to press the envelope each day to succeed knowing there is no clear path to a future except the positive thought he will overcome all obstacles, and find a way.

Today as I watches people with small businesses, and grand ideas, I wondered who could overcome their fear and make their moments both happy and satisfying in spite of fear, and it was interesting considering the options. As I listened to my fascinating person, I hope they found a way to see what is real, and what was fear, and to find things that give them peace, pause, and purpose each day. We all make choices that make our lives real, and I hope everyone finds a way to be happier if they can.

So as the sun sets on another day, I sincerely hope you are living your dream. There is so much of the world out there that can open our lives to new avenues if we can overcome fear and find a way to get there. There is even more that can guide us forward to becoming what we want to be. That being said, it is a choice. We can be happy in what we have, sad in what we have and a million different juxtapositions of the same, but I hope you choose to follow you dreams and your passions and enjoy every day you can, overcome fear and embracing change along the way, no matter what. (I think it is worth it).

Sleep sweet, love life, and find a way…